Opening talk VS last night, about Ohno and other members watch Bohemian Rhapsody in their way to and back from LA. Without really understand what they saying but I can take a guess trough video, I cry. I really hope can hear direct from Ohno Arashi, that Arashi definitely wil come back after hiatus. I know others members had stated it, but in this hiatus case Ohno the key keeper. Arashi will come back if Ohno decide it, and otherwise. I cry maybe because I hope Ohno can get inside like Freddie Mercury, with his band mate he can make better music and the best of him. Ohno will miss and come back to Arashi. I feel guilty to feel this about Ohno. I truly understand about his decision and feel grateful he can stay until this twenty years with Arashi and wish for his happiness. But for me to fully believe that Arashi will come back I really need Ohno clear statement that Arashi just hiatus and will come back. I must work but can't think without spill this thought. Oh-chan gomennasai for press you. Gomennasai Sho-chan, Aiba-chan, Ninomi, and Junpon for not feel secure enough with your statement.

Almost a month since Arashi announcement. I still feel hurt and sad. But I do can accept and understand their decision. Until now I still can watch Untitled Concert again. Before the announcement I always watch Untitled at least once every week. I always play Mikan again and again every day. But now I can't. I really like Untitled before, I can say the most Arashi album and concert that I like is Untitled. But now I not have courage to listen and watch Untitled. After the announcement, every thing that I feel and I question get answer and it hurt so much. I always wondering why narration in every section in the concert like a goodbye messages, feel sad. I often skip this part.
I can't live without Arashi music, now I just watch and listen music before 2017. I still out of blue feel sad and cry if I remember Arashi hiatus.
I hope I can be better and smile again like Arashi wish.

This week I decide to not watch korean drama Fluttering Warning because I know I will cry from this week episodes. But I read closing MC Arashi concert in Fukuoka. This make me cry again and again every time I remember what Sho- chan and Nino said. I very grateful for Arashi Fans that support Arashi in they difficult time, because if they did not doing that maybe I would never knew Arashi. I can't imagine if I never knew this wonderful boys in my difficult times.
I wish I can be apart of Sho-chan memory by attend Arashi concert someday. I will find away no matter what.

I am become Arashi Fans since 2011, when my friends from work give me Pikanchi movie. For work reason I stay far away from my home town almost five and a half years. In my loneliness for that years Arashi became my happiness source. Until now I back to my home town I still love and maybe more love Arashi. My ichiban are Sho Sakurai. I love his personality and that make me love every things about him. (sometimes make people around me hate because I often mention his name). Still fighting in real life and my fangirling things. Hope my dream to watch Arashi concert can come true.